Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Today I was ready! Thanks to the Bucket List!

Today is a good day! Today I was ready!

My baby girl started 4th grade today. She is my only child. She is my baby. I get emotional & want to cry by just looking at her because she is such a gift. She is my little besty - love this girl. Period. {I know, I am a MESS! Please don't laugh - LOL. I am an extremely emotional person - so sue me!}  =) She is growing up.

Every year I cry on the first day of school. Sometimes because I have "mommy guilt", sometimes because she is getting older. Sometimes just because.
Today I didn't cry, I was ready.

In years past, I always would have this guilt at the end of summer. Ya know, the feelings that set in because we think we aren't good enough mommas. The guilt because we don't feel like we spend enough time playing with them. Or listening every time they say "hey mom, look!". Or we can't buy them everything they want. Or we work from home & feel bad when we say 'just one more minute' . . . . 

We try to do the best we can - teach them about limits - some that are in our control & some that aren't. We want to give them everything but sometimes it's not possible. We want them to always be happy & protect them from everything. Sometimes we can't. But that doesn't mean we don't try. So then WHY do we feel guilty if we can't give them all this?  Why does the "mommy guilt" set in?

I have thought awhile on this & here is what I came up with . . . Because we ARE good mommas & expect & want to give nothing but 100% to our children. Then when we can only give 75% or 90% we feel like we've failed them. We can't change that "momma guilt" until we change OUR mindset. And that's EXACTLY what I did. At the beginning of summer, I made a choice. To choose to change my thinking, my mindset . . . .I said it WILL be good enough - no matter what percent I can give!

There was no 'momma guilt' today for me when I sent her back to school. Why? . . . because I used tools that would help me NOT have any. Simple tools. I planned & made a list. A summer bucket list. And photographed EVERYthing!

At the beginning of the summer, we both sat down & created a 'summer bucket list' with ALL of the things she wanted to do before going back to school. Some of them I knew we could do, others I knew we couldn't. But I let her make the list. She didn't ask for much . . . sleepovers, picnic, going to her favorite places, building forts, baking, painting, crafting  . . . .simple inexpensive things . . . that involved spending TIME with her. Sure she put down 'take a vacation' and 'go to the beach' on there because I said "ya never know". But those things I couldn't give her as we didn't have the money but we are fine with that. (maybe next summer)

I purposely blurred out list to keep it private for her. She WILL read this one day - lol

We had a blast planning for the things on her list. Some of them she got to do with different people from her family so she has a LOT of memories with different people - BONUS! We took pictures of most of the things & we have that to remember when when look back one day on the summer of 2012.

Years past we had planned things for the summer. We did them. But still felt the 'momma guilt' & the feeling that it just wasn't 'enough'. Maybe I grew up today too.

I am so thankful we did this. It helped me to NOT have 'mommy guilt' sending her back to school today because I gave her a summer of crazy fun memories that she will remember forever. Is the list complete? Not yet - there IS a couple things left that we are still gonna try & squeeze in here in the next couple of weeks but she was happy with her summer.  I love being her mother. I thank God every day for her. She's happy. Momma's happy. My heart is full & guilt-free. I did good. =)


Can anyone else relate to this? Hopefully I have helped anyone else feeling this way. As mommas, we ALL need to give ourselves a break once in awhile & realize & recognize we ARE doing our best! 
Or maybe I am the only one! lol
Please comment . . . .



  1. great post - love your heart! Peace to your day!

  2. You sound just like me. I have one daughter who is 11 and going into Middle School next week, I can't promise I'm not going to cry, but I'm going to try not to. When she turned 10, I cried off and on all day because my baby was 10!!! How did that happen? I'm happy to say I didn't cry when she turned 11 but I'm not making any promises for 13, 16, 18 and 21, all future milestones we look forward to but not too soon please. I work full time and the Mommy guilt gets me all the time, especially when I hear my friends who are stay at home Moms talk about volunteering at school etc and I know I can't do that as often as I would like. We love our girls and they know it and that is really the most important thing. I'm sure she will come home from school with lots of things to talk about. Love your blog!

    1. Ok teresa - you made me cry! You are so sweet & I can tell just from reading this that you have been there too. Know what else I can tell - you ARE a great momma & you ARE enough for those kids! Believe it because you are - I know you do but it never hurts to hear it!;) Thanks so much for loving my blog & it's fans like you that make my day! Good luck next week & let me know how it goes! xoxo

  3. Huge congrats on conquering the "mommy guilt"!

    1. Thank you so much - at least I can say "no guilt" this time! It's always a work in progress but that's what moms do! ;) Thanks so much for the comment!

  4. I work a lot and dont get as much time with my two daugjters as i would like so i try to take one day a week and do something special with them. last week we went to a friends farm and the girls got to ride the horse amd clean it. they had a ball and i enjoyed watching them have a great time


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