Friday, December 28, 2012

{HOPE} MY journey. And my NEW word.

HOPE. It's MY new word.
HOPE: Hold On & Pray Everyday.
Today is the day I have been putting off talking about.
Today is the day I am having major surgery.
Today is the day I find out if I have cancer or not.

If you pray, I am asking you to please PRAY for healing for me & STRENGTH to endure this unknown road I am about to travel. I ask for prayers for my family.

To update you, after my breast cancer scare a month ago, I had an appointment set up with my gyno for the next week, for an annual check-up (which had been 4 years since I'd been). At the end of the visit, she wanted some additional testing set up. I thought, "here we go again". Fast forward a week later & it ends with her calling me in to her office to get the results in person. {sigh}
She wanted to do surgery right away as I have "issues" that needed taken care of sooner than later & ended with a "oh, and based on the test results, you 'may' have cancer too".
So after today, the finality of 'no more children' will hit. It makes me sad. It ALL needs to go (unfortunately) to make sure they take care of 'all my issues'. Plus they will know when they get in there "if" I have cancer. If I do, I PRAY it is contained & they can just remove it & I can be done. That is my HOPE anyway.

My doctor has a Plan A . . . as well as a Plan B & C - just 'in case'. She will not know exactly what needs to be done & the extent of it, until she operates. The unknown sucks. The possibility of having cancer sucks. But what can I do.

I decided AFTER hearing this news to busy myself in my work & the holidays being spent with loved ones.  I have made the most of this last month spending time doing what I wanted. I have had good days & some bad days with all of the mixed emotions & 'what-ifs' but most have been GOOD!
I have FAITH that God is the great physician & he will heal me & if I have cancer, we will cross that bridge when they find out & hopefully they'll be able to get it all tomorrow . . . IF I do. We just don't know yet. Am I scared? Right now, no but I have been. I just know that God has a plan & His timing is never off - He is saving me from something - that is what I am holding on to. I am holding on to the fact that they will get it all if I do & that I will be fine. But you all PRAYING for me will help. =) I have been on the end of a miracle before & have witnessed MANY in my life, so I am praying for another.
I was on a mission to find a "word" that would get me through this. My word ended up being 'HOPE'. I then received the most beautiful journal from a dear friend in the mail & wouldn't you know it, it had the word 'HOPE' on the front. I am cherishing it & recording my thoughts - it has truly helped. It was a sign. I am all about 'signs' as I feel it is a way for us to focus without 'focusing' on the real issues in front of us.  After that I KNEW I NEEDED to find a necklace with the word as well. I received a recommendation & ended up with one from a company (the Rusted Chain) that "prays" over your jewelry before sending it to you, if you ask. I LOVED it - I knew this was another 'sign'. My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11 & when I went to order the necklace, they had this verse listed as an example of what you could order & also had it pictured with the word 'HOPE'. It's the little things with me. I LOVE having found this piece & know it will all work out. I have my FAITH & I have HOPE.
I have HOPE in Him & that is what is getting me through this. I have HOPE in God. I trust in that & I have peace. He has a PLAN & although I may not like it right now & it is unknown, I will TRUST & have HOPE that His plan is perfect timing for me. ;)
I debated on whether to say anything on here but I have shared my personal with you before and I was floored at the feedback & love I received. Thank you again. Maybe it will give someone else HOPE as well with something they are going through. We all NEED to have HOPE at certain times in our lives. I do now.
I promise I will check in & let you know an update just as soon as I can - hoping to be back on here while I am recovering! ;) 
 Love to all of you & THANKS for the PRAYERS! xoxo ♥

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you & not harm you, plans to give you HOPE & a future!" ♥ Jeremiah 29:11


  1. Yes, Laura. I'm out here and I'm praying for you. I have a daughter (our only child) who had a brain tumor when she was 12 yrs. old. After surgery, 6 weeks of daily radiation, and a year of chemo, her tumor was back. We were given no hope and sent on a "rush" Make a Wish trip. We made funeral arrangements and my daughter even chose the pretty pink dress she wanted to be buried in. She was 22 yrs. old on Jan. 2nd and that pink dress still hangs in my closet with the tags on it. When we returned from our "wish" trip two weeks later, her tumor was smaller. It continued to shrink for a year, until it was no longer visible on her MRI. We know first hand about the power of God. He doesn't always choose to intervene (and we know that first hand as well because we've lost a lot of little friends). We don't know why He chooses/doesn't choose to intervene, but we know He never leaves us no matter what we're going through. I'm sending a hug and will continue to lift you up until you're back!

    Lisa Hanger
    Suwanee, GA

    1. Lisa thanks so much for commenting here as I sure appreciate you sharing with me!=) I am happy to say that it has all worked out as I got my results back from surgery yesterday & I am cancer free! Praise God. He is the one who did all of this saving me, I know that! I am so glad to hear your situation with your daughter has a happy ending as I could NOT even imagine going through something like this with a child. I pray that she continues to be healthy for many years to come! =) Thanks so much for reaching out, your prayers & being here for me! xoxo laura


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